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ai generated image of a crowded dance floor

🎶 The Porcelain Bar

Posted on April 14, 2026May 27, 2026 by Doug Bayliss

To the tune of  “Waltz Across Texas With You.”
Words by Doug Bayliss
April 14, 2026


@inch.by.inch

Porcelean Bar – A song parody I wrote to the tune of “Waltz Across Texas With You.” #parodysong #barsong

♬ original sound – Keyboard – Keyboard

Inspired by my friend Susan: “Sitting in bars, I hear the guitars.”


Stuck in a stall, in an old mountain bar.
Outside the door, I hear the guitar.
Noodlin’ in’ a-way, with a drum tappin’ fast.
While I’m on the toi-let, just passin’ gas.

The barkeeps are happy, there’s a line out the door.
The dance floor isjumpin’; they come back for more.
The band is on fire…  they’re reachin’ for a star.
While I’m sittin’ here at the porcelain bar.

[Break]

Yeah, I’m stuck in this stall, the moment won’t pass.
They’re tearin’ it up, I’m stuck on my ass.
Life’s funny this way, you are where you are.
One’s chasin’ the lights, one’s droppin’ cigars!

The ending draws near, a special delight.
Not too soft, not too hard, land it just right.
I’m thinkin’ the same thing, right here, where I sit.
Gotta ease it on through, when takin’…. a hit.



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Some images on this website and in the books featured here were created with AI assistance, based on the author’s original concepts, creative direction, and final editorial approval.


Doug & puppies
4-yr old me with Collie pups at Sky Manor airport.

sky manor airport circa 1960
We lived here a summer while my Pop-Pop built us a house.

sky-manor-airport-club-house
My Grandparents, Robert & Naomi Theisz, building the restaurant at Sky Manor.
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