For our 30th wedding anniversary, and as a public speaking project for Toastmasters, I decided to relive my wedding day and publicly reveal the final moments leading up to the words “You may now kiss the bride.”   It’s performed as if standing at the altar, everyone in place waiting for the Bride’s grand entrance.

My Wedding Ceremony.
A Mono-Drama by Doug Bayliss

I.

This necktie is so tight. I feel like I’ve been standing here for hours.

Is it hot in here? [looks at watch]

Where is Michelle?

She should have been here 20 minutes ago.

[looks around the room reassuringly nodding at guests]

Did the car break down? Flat tire? Engine trouble? I love that old Cadillac her Dad drives but it’s not in the best of shape.

What if it overheated?

II.

Look at everyone, they are starting to think she left me at the altar. Whispering in other’s ears.

I can hear you, you know!  Where is she? What could have happened?

Maybe she is leaving me at the altar! Maybe I should leave HER at the altar!

“Excuse me everyone. No one knows where my Bride is, I guess she left me at alter. Thank you for coming but the wedding is off.”

Oh boy, that would surely shock the hell out of everyone!

A Bridesmaid peaks around the corner from the back of the church to catch my eye. She looks worried.

Where IS she? [looks at watch again]

Damn her. This is getting ridiculous.

III.

I can’t believe how many people are here. This church is packed with friends, relatives and a Barbershop Quartet who is going to sing later, along with my best friend who is singing w guitar accompaniment by a gracious 2nd cousin!

IV.

What’s that I hear? The organ? Could it be? Yes! She must be here!

The bridesmaids begin their walk…

Look here comes Veronica our flower girl. So cute. And Michelle, walking arm in arm with her father  -get the tissues.

Damn her Dad looks good in that tuxedo.  I’ve never seen him dressed so formal.

But Michelle… What a vision. What a heavenly angel. Long flowing white dress. So pretty. So young. You sly dog you, what a cradle robber!

Look at her beautiful green eyes sparkling… and check out that cleavage! I can’t wait until tonight!

[nod to Father of Bride, shake his hand]

V.

[sound of organ]  Wa wa wa-wa…wa..wa.. waaa…

You may now kiss the Bride!

Doug & Michelle – Sept. 24, 1983

Doug & Michelle – Sept. 24, 1983

 

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