How Is Your Relationship With Yourself?
by Doug Bayliss
Go ahead and Google “relationships” and you will discover A LOT has been written on the subject. For example, there are the 8 relationships of intimacy, the 14 types of relationships you will almost certainly have before you find long-term happiness, the 7 Types of Love Relationships, types of dating relationships, types of interpersonal relationships, types of friendships, and even types of relationships between organisms! ??
Then I discovered the ultimate list of 23 relationships:
friends with benefits.
long distance relationship.
May December relationships.
truly compatible romance
Do you see what I see? There is something missing! With all of these different types of relationships, not one mention of what I have come to know is the most important relationship of all: The relationship you have with yourself!
If we get to know ourselves, we can be successful in any other relationship, in fact it will come naturally.
“We must be our own before we can be another’s” – Ralf Waldo Emerson
I began my career, I’m proud to say, as a bean counter. If you don’t know what that is, it refers to someone who intently and thoroughly keeps bookkeeping records, counting every last bean as it were. I worked in accounting for 20 years and progressed from full charge bookkeeper for an SMB to accounting manager to director of finance for a multi-national business.
Then quite suddenly, and through no fault of my own, things changed and I was unemployed. It was the 90’s.
Looking for work, I noticed most of my contemporaries, vying for the same position, were highly educated with many of them being CPA’s. I’m enough of a realist to know they were a force to reckon with and would the selected candidate before me. Especially at the salary level, I had attained. It was time for a career change.
Kudos to me for successfully charting a course through a mid-life career change. It was the mid-1990’s and I set off to discover a new technology simply referred to as “information.” It was a good move.
Various paths led me to Apartment Services, Inc. in Baltimore MD, where I’ve been since 1999. ASI is one of the areas largest multifamily housing management companies. While still in IT, my accounting background is helpful since I work within the finance group.
One path along the way I was outsourced to a bank to help get a project organized. With a team of bank employees and other Tek-Systems’ consultants, I was instrumental in leading this project to completion. The bank was so happy they gave me an analyst position until my next assignment came up!
Other assignments in the 90’s:
Middle River Aircraft Systems: Audit purchase orders against take off drawings. Survey government contractors to determine their level of Y2K readiness.
Dupont: Managed a team of computer 18 mobile technicians in an assigned geographic area, and inventoried tens of thousands of electronic parts for a major US Telecom. I often think fondly of this assignment and the monthly data consolidation meetings in Morristown, NJ.
Before the “Information Age:”
TREMA North America, Randallstown, MD – Design and supply of air pollution control equipment – Responsible for procuring parts and steel fabrication, shipping industrial chemical processing equipment globally. Managed budgets and kept detailed job cost records, including project cash flow forecasts. In addition, I supervised a full charge bookkeeper and an office manager.
Nielson-Wurster Group, Somerset NJ – Forensic Engineering – Accounting Manager. Converted a detailed manual bookkeeping system to a [then] state-of-the-art computerized accounting system. Supervised a bookkeeper.
Bayliss Industries, Flemington NJ – Design of chemical processing systems. Full charge bookkeeper also worked in the Research & Development pilot plant, testing chemical processing equipment configurations. This was my Dad’s business in the 70’s and early 80’s.
While the 80’s were “lost” too many of my contemporaries, these were some of best years on record for me.